Acceptance Helps You Transform

Why feel embarrassed about sex, asks OSHO

No society, no human society, has taken sex easily. There is something in the very phenomenon of sex that makes you embarrassed, guilty, self-conscious. What is that? Even if nobody teaches you anything about sex, nobody moralises to you about it, nobody creates any conceptions about it, still there is something in the very phenomenon that you are not at ease with.What is that? First, sex shows your deepest dependence. It shows that somebody else is needed for your pleasure. Without somebody else that pleasure is not possible. So you depend, your independence is lost.This hurts the ego.

Driven By Ego

So the more a person is an egoist, the more he will be against sex.Your so-called saints are against sex — not because sex is bad,but because of their egos.They cannot conceive of themselves being dependent on somebody, begging for something from somebody. Sex hurts the ego most. Secondly, in the very phenomenon of sex, the possibility of rejection is there — the other can reject you. It is not certain whether you will be accepted or rejected; the other can say no. And this is the deepest rejection possible, when you approach somebody for love and the other rejects you. This rejection creates fear. The ego says it is better not to try than to be rejected. Dependence, rejection, the possibility of rejection — and still deeper, in sex you become just like animals. That hurts the human ego very much, because then there is no difference between a dog making love and you making love. Sex is animal activity.Whatsoever you do, howsoever you hide it, the basic fact remains animal. And when you move into it you become like animals. Because of this fact many people cannot enjoy sex.They cannot become totally animal, their egos won’t allow it. So this is the conflict — sex versus ego.The more egoistic a person is, the more he is against sex. The less egoistic a person is, the more involved he is in sex. But even the lesser egoist feels guilt — feels less, but still feels something is wrong. When one moves deeply into sex, the ego is lost, and when the moment comes nearer when the ego is disappearing, fear grips you. So people don’t make love or go into sex deeply, not really.They just make a superficial show that they are making love, because if you really make love, all civilisation will have to be dropped. Your mind will have to be put aside — your religion, philosophy, everything. Suddenly you will feel a wild animal is born within you.You may actually start roaring like a wild animal — screaming, groaning. And if you allow it, language will disappear. Sounds will be there, just like birds or animals making sounds.You are again standing like an animal, in a wild world. There is fear, and because of that fear love has become very difficult. And the fear is real — because when you lose the ego you are almost insane; you become wild, and then anything can happen. So, suppression seems to be the easiest way — to avoid all this. Suppression exists as a protection, as a safeguard, as a security measure, and religions have used this security measure. They have exploited this fear of sex and made it the basic sin. They say:“Unless sex disappears you will not be able to enter into the kingdom of God.”

Right And Wrong

They are right in a sense, and still wrong. I also say unless sex disappears you will not be able to enter into the kingdom of God. But sex disappears only when you have accepted it totally — not suppressed but transformed it. My Way: The Way of the White Clouds, Osho Times International, courtesy: Osho International Foundation,

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